Role Models Reconsidered

Recently, I have been fed up with people criticizing the Twilight series by Stephenie Meyer for providing young girls with a poor female role model. I love those books without shame, and I feel like I’ve learned some good things about life from them. Maybe if all those indignant feminists took a step back from their Bella Swan bashing, they’d realize that maybe it’s time we redefine what makes a character a Strong Female Role Model.
Feminism no longer means rebelling against your husband and getting a secretarial job. Women today compete in the world as equals to men. It took a revolution to get us to where we are, and it’s something we deserve to be proud of. But the battle to free American women of the tyranny of men is largely behind us. While the Strong Female Role Models of the past were the Mary Tyler Moores and other characters who stepped out into the workforce, female characters in our modern stories should demonstrate self-reflection and the ability to choose what is right for them in their own life. This extends far beyond the decision to put career first or family first.
The film Girl, Interrupted is narrated by the character of Susanna Kaysen, a young woman who has just attempted suicide and is placed in a mental institution. She is promiscuous, has a bad attitude, and looks at the world in a very dark way. She’s not a character you would want your little girl to encounter. However, she deserves some credit for the huge decisions she makes over the course of the movie. While she is in the mental hospital, you can tell Susanna is tempted to sink into the oblivion of life in an institution. She says she wants to go, but her refusal to make progress during therapy shows how she struggles with the decision to stay in that never-a-dull-moment hospital or to go out into the big, scary world. For many people, to go through life as a happy person is a proactive decision they must make. I learned that for myself at thirteen, and Susanna learned that after a difficult year in a mental institution. This is a life lesson that we are often unaware of. Susanna’s decision to get better, which she makes in a time of deep inner turmoil, shows maturity and responsibility that any young woman would benefit from seeing.
Carolyn, from Pumpkin, if not for her evolution over the course of the film, is an example of a disastrous modern role model. The irony is that she is presented as a young woman who is going somewhere in this world, someone who has got it together. She has a perfect tennis-star boyfriend, is the most beloved sister in her sorority, and always wears a pleasant expression. It is only after her poetry professor reveals Carolyn’s naiveté to her classmates and the film’s audience that we realize she is actually a very weak person. In her whole life, she has never made a real decision for herself. She is only a happy person because she has never really considered what will make her happy, only what should make her happy. Once her eyes are opened to this, Carolyn decides the only thing that will make her happy is dating a sweet-natured mentally-handicapped boy. Though the community is thrown into a frenzy over this, she is not actually harming the boy, but making him happy as well. After more self-reflection, Carolyn drops out of school and becomes a very different person. While I can’t condone academic negligence and slightly inappropriate romances, it is undeniable that Carolyn’s evolution shows how careful self-reflection can lead to a more fulfilling life.
Shopgirl presents us with a very normal, timid girl named Mirabelle, who longs for a real romance just like every young woman does. This is harmful to her though, since she falls very easily under the spell of a man whose feelings for her are lukewarm. Ray wins her over quickly by buying her nice things and giving the lonely girl attention. It is a painful thing to watch as she slowly gets her heart broken by his apathy, but her humanity in dealing with the situation makes her into a good, solid role model, if not a great one. She forces herself to snap out of her delusion and face the harsh reality that he doesn’t love her. Mirabelle deliberately pushes through the pain in order to get to the other side of the break-up. This is something every girl will deal with in her life, and it is an impressively big move for such a quiet girl.
Shanté , in Two Can Play That Game, is a character specifically written to be a good role model for other women. She is independently wealthy, she is happy and well-adjusted, and she is a powerful businesswoman. She even states in the film that her friends look up to her when it comes to dealing with relationships. She claims to know every rule in the book when it comes to keeping your man in line. When she catches her perfect boyfriend at a club with another woman, she calmly enacts a step-by-step process to win him back. Things go awry very quickly, though, when her boyfriend’s friend gets involved and starts scheming against her. The game gets tangled up, and soon Shanté is wishing it would all just disappear and she could get back together with her boyfriend. Though she is cool and confident, her main quality throughout the film is how insincere she is. She thinks she knows what she wants: to teach her man a lesson. But what she really, truly wants is for them to be happily in love again. If she were only honest with herself, she would see that talking to him in a sincere way is the best way to get what she really wants. All this time, she is narrating directly to the camera all these confident little rules that are failing left and right. This woman is a bad role model. If she could just take a step back and see that overpowering men is not what being a strong woman means, Shanté could get what she wants and be happy again. This is another case of knowing yourself and being honest with what you want.
In Twilight, Bella Swan has made a proactive decision in deciding her own future. How can that be called weak? Choosing vampirism over college in order to spend eternity with your soul mate might have been considered a poor career move back in the sixties, but hello, it is a new era and it is up to us to define what a woman’s life should be like. Feminism has evolved from “you’re strong if you do” to “you’re weak if you don’t.” The millions of choices in a woman’s life should be her choices to make. Instead of being what the world thinks she should be, she needs to become what she feels she should be. These characters, apart from Shanté , each dug into their own souls to find out what they want from life. Instead of judging women for the choices they make, we should just cherish the fact that we have all these options. Well, except vampirism, I guess. Unfortunately. [1239 words]


Works Cited

Girl, Interrupted. Dir. James Mangold. Perf. Winona Ryder and Angelina Jolie. DVD. Columbia Pictures, 1999.

Meyer, Stephenie. Twilight. Little, Brown and Company. New York, NY. 2005.

Pumpkin. Dir. Anthony Abrams and Adam Larson Broder. Perf. Christinna Ricci, Hank Harris. DVD. United Artists, 2002.

Shopgirl. Dir. Anand Tucker. Perf. Claire Danes, Steve Martin. DVD. Touchstone Pictures, 2005.
Two Can Play That Game. Dir. Mark Brown. Perf. Vivica A. Fox, Morris Chestnut. DVD. Scr

Entertainment I am NOW Consuming

I just watched In Bruges, and it was really, really great. I actually feel asleep in the middle of it, but I gave it a second chance and it was so worth it. It was an amazing story about sin, redemption, second chances, sacrifices, and other things I only think about when a good story forces me to ponder them. It was marketed as a comedy--specifically a quirky comedy that has the word fuck in it a lot--but it was ultimately a drama grounded in realism; the comedy just came from how honest it was. It was gritty, witty, and had a killer ending. Watch it.

Recently, I have been battling an addiction to How I Met Your Mother. It's a CBS comedy (Who watches CBS? No one? Definitely not me.) that could easily slip by every audience's notice, while it goes on year after year in perfect brilliance. Critics like it, but for all their attempts to make it more known, HIMYM still suffers in anonymity. But it is the new Friends. With a few more viewers, these actors could be making the million dollars an episode that the Friends crew earned in their final season. The show is about five friends in New York City. It mostly follows their dating life, particularly Ted's. The ultimate storyline is about how Ted meets the mother of his children, which is often frustrating for the nice architect with good intentions. Episode to episode, it is a great comedy, with funny situations and witty inside jokes. But it is the romance that keeps me watching. Like any good TV show, HIMYM handles its love stories with a suspenseful combination of restraint and exhilerating cliffhangers. I'm trying to get everyone hooked on this show, though I realize that beginning from episode one can be a dangerous thing. You may never leave your computer once you start illegaling downloading the episodes. Just kidding, I did not say that....

Entertainment I Am Consuming Right Now

Currently:

The Story of Edgar Sawtelle, by David Wroblewski: Lovely. I'm hoping it lasts a long time.

Friends, Season 8: Endlessly brilliant. Better every time I watch it.

Hot, Flat, and Crowded, by Thomas L. Friedman: Should be required for everyone to read. It's making me into a bleeding-heart liberal and an aspiring hippie. It's actually a textbook for one of my classes, but it's pretty entertaining.

Lost: Obviously. Can't wait til Wednesday!


Recently:

The Boyfriend List, by E. Lockhart: A wonderful surprise. It is a wise, therapeutic little novel that might make sense of your high school experience. Its realism is shocking.

The Brief Wondrous Life of Oscar Wao, by Junot Diaz: Sort of disappointing. It had its worthwhile moments, but it wasn't brilliant like it's supposed to be. Bad narrative.

He's Just Not That Into You: Well-spent two-hours. It is cutesy, breezy entertainment that tries to stress you out but really is just innocent fun. Not as enlightening as it thinks it is, though.

Firefox: Great movie. It's from the early '90s, when its star Angelina Jolie was dating her female costar (haha that's right). It is thought-provoking and captures the feeling of close female relationships very well.

Melodramatic Sufferings of Love

It is a torturous thing to be of such
Romantic sensibilities as mine.
My favorite heroines of fiction wear
This affliction close to their hearts,
While I stagger under its force.
Its mass times its acceleration.
Its heavy despair then its rapid exhilaration.
The knock-your-breath-out disappointments
Then the take-your-breath-away thrills.
But such is the sorrow of my life,
That my heart spends its days in an illusion of calm
While it waits to burst out of my chest.

How Excited Am I For New Movies?

Twilight: 55%

I think it will just disappoint me, after loving the books with my entire soul as long as I have. But the midnight showing should be fun. And if the story sucks, I can still just stare into Edward Cullen's smouldering golden eyes for two hours.

Australia: 110%

I predict this will be my new Ultimate Favorite Movie. It's got all the ingredients to be amazing, like an exotic setting, Baz Luhrman, an epic plotline, sweeping romance, and a hunky cowboy. If the movie is as good as the trailers, I will see it like four times in theaters.

The Curious Case of Benjamin Button: 100%

I love the short story, and wanted it to last much, much longer than just a few pages. Plus, with Brad Pitt and such a whimsical look, it has to be perfection.

Bolt: 40%

I'll see it, because of course I need to pay my respects to the wonders of Disney. But will it be good? I don't know, they never really make good computer-animated films without the help of Pixar...

Zach and Miri Make a Porno: 90%

Yeah, it looks great. That's all I can say.

Changeling: 18%

I'd watch it, but I won't pay money for it. It's getting really mixed reviews, so I think I'll pass for the time being.

How We All Long For What We Don’t Have

On this November night I kiss my summer boyfriend
With reluctance, sadness, and uncertainty
Two months removed from the ruins of that promising relationship
Here is my wonderful ex still in love with me
And I break his heart with everything I say or do
But difficult words have always struggled on our tongues
Keeping in so many things I should say
Like how it was him that broke us in two
Even if I sent the text that made it true
And he should have expected
That taking some time apart would mean my tragic love affair
Would fly through town and give me a taste of a whirlwind
And go back to South Dakota while I gave my pain to my pillow
In teardrops that he has caused for four years
So a kiss in November in a big city is one thing
My heart cannot be a part of when it belongs in a
Rural college town in the next state over

The Product of My Recent Poetic Mood

I left out the poem called "Angst Angst Angst" 'cause who wants to read a poem with that title???

A Rebuttal of Tara’s Poem

Oh yes, it was a great summer
Fun and full of wonder and sun
Oh hateful sun, the nights were better

But what came before the summer were
Days of go go go
And stopping in passing to chat about Edward
To squeeze that into our whirlwind lives
I would have lost my mind
Or maybe just my spark
Without my three beloved roommates
Just outside my bedroom door
Always up for the Twilight talks that revived me
For spending money on good food
For venting about that other roommate
For planning our next shared adventure
Our lives moved in sync
Anchored in The Loft
Until we pulled up our anchors one by one
And tried unsuccessfully to be okay
With where the tide carried each of us
While lucky Edward can spend forever
Floating through the air molecules
Of the too-nice apartment where girls spoke his name
More than they spoke any other
I know he’s still there
And maybe this fall bit the happiness out of me
Because Edward can’t protect me
While he exists in The Loft
Once we’re together again he’ll be there too
And The Loft is an intangible thing that we thought was
Concrete floor and exposed pipes and crumbling wall
But really it’s just us


Dealing With Minnesota

You could argue that the unexpected
Warm breeze on a November day
Is the breath of some higher being
Taking his frustrations out on
A girl who hates the cold
And is suddenly reminded of the long
Winter quickly approaching
On the heels of this gust of air
That somehow smells like summer.
You could argue that the
Painful sun slanting through your
Window is just a mean reminder
That soon the sun will bounce
Brightly off snow banks and carry
No warmth even though it is the
Same sun that scorched you in
Your lifeguard chair all summer.



I wrote this one a long time ago:

The Brook

Or maybe it was the people that made
my life there everything it was.
Lauren dancing in the hallway
to Gwen Stefani.
Luke rushing through the lounge
with a kiss on the cheek here,
a kiss on the cheek there.
Maggie telling a scandalous and
very entertaining story.
Ashley watching Friends in the lounge
with people huddled around laughing.
Shana doing Calc homework while everyone
whirls around her drunkenly.
Lexi doing French homework while
wearing one of her adorable hats.
Nate belting out “America the Beautiful”
in the hallway for everyone to hear.
Lela leading nine o’clock abs.
Nick shrewdly talking his way out of
an alcohol citation.
Cassie popping in the room with
yet another cute emo boy in tow.
Kyle eating oranges, oranges,
and more oranges.
Kris rounding up reluctant people to
go watch free movies at the student union.
Sam carrying on a great drunken
French conversation avec moi.
Tara being a great friend to whoever
needs her at this particular moment.
Colleen discussing any movie with me,
geek to geek.
Mazy serving his parents’ expensive
wine to anyone who wants to risk
getting caught drinking in the lounge.
Austin introducing her friendly
boyfriend to all her crazy friends.
Will bringing us over to his frat house
for all the free beer we can drink.
Anna gamely explaining the logistics
of sexual favors to all of us innocents.
Kipp getting his long hair cut off
sloppily by all the girls.
And me, journaling away like crazy
and trying not to forget any of it.
The Brook was crazy, oh yes it was.
But it shaped us and took care of us.
Wistfully I am amused by
how we lived in the dorms.