Monday, September 22, 2008

The Three Types of Relationships

It's been a long time. I think my summer was just too much to process. I needed some time to understand those whirlwind three months. It was work, new friends, and a wonderful boyfriend that popped up at an unexpected time. But the boyfriend starting pulling away when school started, so i had to end it cleanly two nights ago. Yeah, there's hurt, but there's also freedom and relief after doing this painful thing.

And now the only thing to do is write about it. I talked to my mom about it yesterday, and as Carrie Bradshaw-style relationship philosophers, we decided maybe there are only three types of relationships, and only one of them leads to something good.

Type one: He likes her more than she likes him. Girls are suckers for attention, and if he treats her like a princess, chances are she'll develop some affectionate feelings for him too. At times, it is a shock for girls to see the loving side of men, and if there's any sort of attraction there, it will probably lead to her wanting him too. It will be a good thing for a while, but not forever.

Type two: He's just not that into her. No matter how much a girl likes a guy, no amount of attention will make him want her back. Sure, there are exceptions to this, but if a guy doesn't like what he sees, there's never going to be anything. Girls can't win over a guy with flattery the way they can win over girls. This will definitely end badly for the girl because it will never lead to anything.

Type three: Mutual adoration. Passion. Soul mates. In the best of cases, a blissful eternity together.

My relationship was a type one. I noticed how cute he was in the beginning of the summer, but we were together because he loved me and spoiled me and made me care about him too. He told me he loved me earlier on than I ever would have expected, and I always half-heartedly said it back. It sort of hurt my mouth to say it, which tells me I never really loved him. I was certainly never compelled to say it to him before he said it to me. And so, we were doomed from the beginning. As soon as things got a little less than perfect, I was out of there. I left him behind to deal with it alone. The hard part is, he was my best friend for three months, and I'm in pain and I want him to help me get through it. But I have to keep my distance and hope I can find a type three relationship while I avoid type ones and twos.